Qualifying for Heaven
 

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered.

"That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
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yeah it's really nice I admire!!!I like to have loads of loads of jokes like mye..I love reading jokes at all it is so cool!!!:cool::cool::cool:

LOL!! this jokes good ha!! it saved my day..i am caught up with work load and need something to lighten my mood a bit..here it comes..

hi,
good joke
andy

lovely joke ..... tomorrow ill try to make my friends laugh :P

I really enjoyed this great and funny joke. But while i was laughing i couldn't help but feel a deep sadness, because it prompted me to think about heaven and hell. I get really scared sometimes about not being allowed in, and i don't know what i can do, to make sure that St Peter looks upon me, like a loving uncle.

Has anyone got any tips for me, I am finding this quiet hard.

Relax Heavens above, neither exist. We currently live in a society where Innocents are punished and have cruel and unfair circumstance plague their life and people with no moral fibre at all reap benefits of wealth and fame. Unless of course after Death there is some sort of Seinfeld Bizarro world opposite to that of the one we live in

thankyou for your kind reply mr pessimist, but you only served to make me sadder. Whilst i appreciate your existentialist viewpoint and see much evidence around me to back up your ideas, I still somehow have pitty for you. and were you joking about the seinfield thing, coz i used to really like that show.

do you actually think there is no heaven? if so, in what do you find the meaning of life, and the desire with which to face another day?

When I said they dont exist I meant St Peter And Your loving Uncle. The Meaning of Life however is an interesting point you raise! Is there any eaning to life if all you are trying to secure is a reward after death?

but i seek not rewards for my efforts, but life for living. I think i generally is a humble person and just wish to know that my existence lives on, in one form or another.

after all, if einstein was correct, 'existence amplifies the ordinary, essentialising the abnormality'.

Not wise quoting Einstein to a Physics Major, can you reference your Quote? Also it perplexes me as to why you would bring a Physicist into a discussion on Heaven wouldnt it disprove its existance.

You will live on in some form my dear friend albeit a decaying one

um, i was really sure that it was an Einsteni quote, because my Dad read a physics book once, and he was really smart with that smart stuff, and i think he told me about it. but i never did really get it. Maybe it was stephen hawkings then?

but i was still feeling not very nice when you said that, and i quote 'we all alive on in some form', i don't remeber einstein saying that? please reference it smart man.

That was my quote

Hey I didnt want to Dis your old man I am sure he is smart No need to get personal Heavens Above

oh ok. i get really upset when i about this topic, i didnt mean to be personal abou tit.

i address your previous point, why do you feel so confortable dying, and having no further consciouss experience of life? eteernity is a long time to be dead? wouldn't you rather party on forever?

my friend from church told that jesus throws the best parties.

How would you know once your dead Heaves above with no consciousness ther is no time

but time dosn't stop, just when my consciousness does. time goes one forever. that is still a long time to be dead, is that scary for anyone else?